Skinny jeans and laughter

Retailers decided a long time ago that I was not the person they should be appealing to. I hate shopping. I do it out of necessity, not desire. So I should not have been surprised by how something as simple as buying a pair of blue jeans has become more complicated than it used to be.

Naturally, the only way I ever go clothes shopping is with my wife of nearly 29 years. One reason she drags me along is because she knows I’ll never do it on my own. The other is she knows I will just grab the first thing that even remotely fits. The third reason is she enjoys laughing at me while I try to decipher what is on display. Such was the case when we recently went to a local department store to replace what I considered a perfectly good pair of well-worn and comfortable pair of jeans.  

The choice is no longer just waist size and length of one’s legs. Do you want boot cut? Straight leg? Loose fit? Or skinny jeans? The last one on this list is what gave my wife the biggest laugh of the day.

Since I no longer consider myself thin, I told her there was no need to look for my size in the skinny jeans display. Boy, was I wrong.

“They’re not for skinny people,” she laughed. “They make you look skinny.”

Seems to me that the marketers could have added a few more words to clear that up for people such as myself. Naturally, the love of my life asked if I would like to look for fat jeans. Of course not. Who would want to wear a pair that had a label with those words displayed somewhere on their backside?

What made the situation worse for me and better for her is that there were no skinny jeans in my size. Ugh. I’m already dreading the next time we go clothes shopping.


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